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What Is Active Listening And How Can You Improve This Key Skill?

We often assume it’s obvious that we’re practicing active listening and that others know they’re being heard. But the reality is that research shows most of us vastly overrate our listening skills. We sometimes think of listening as passive, but that’s not accurate. When somebody’s actively listening, they’re doing a lot. And — just as importantly — they’re not doing other things, because active listening requires your full focus and attention. That can be a tall order in a world that’s chock full of distractions.

Build Stronger Active Listening Skills

Just like all of our minds wander from time to time, we all pass judgment. The key to being a good listener is recognizing it when it’s happening and purposefully adjusting your attitude. Learn more about what it means to actively listen and review seven ways you can improve your listening abilities. To continue building your skills, consider enrolling in the Achieving Personal and Professional Success Specialization from The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. This four-course series takes an average of four weeks to complete and offers opportunities to learn more about active listening as well as growth-mindedness, communication strategies, leadership, and influencing.

Reflect Back What You’ve Heard

• Reflecting is an active listening technique that indicates that you and your counterpart are on the same page.
• But if you’re busy formulating your own response, you can’t actually pay attention to what they’re saying.
• Job switching is rampant, and remote work means we don’t get the nonverbal cues we’d pick up from an in-person conversation.
• A short breathing pause before a hard conversation can quiet that noise enough to let someone in.

Because when you know how to listen, people—ordinary, everyday people—become fascinating, curious, and even entertaining. Silences do serve a function — they give both the speaker and listener the space to process the information being shared. When engaging in active listening, the emphasis is on asking, rather than telling. It assumes the other person has valuable input, and maintains a spirit of collaboration.

How To Be More Social (if You’re Not A Party-person)

To help someone feel heard, you can think of yourself as a mirror. Reflect back to them that you’re taking their words as seriously as they are. Hearing someone is one thing, but truly listening? With a little practice, it’s possible to learn how to be a better listener.

As the listener, if you have doubt or confusion about what the other person has said, say something like, “Let me see if I’m understanding. I didn’t follow you.” Asking for clarification shows you are paying attention. Active listening is a teachable skill, one that we all need to practice on a regular basis to promote happy and healthy relationships. In fact, it can be quite hard to engage with people on a deeper level. Most people will find this particular component support@lauradate.help of active listening difficult to do, as thinking about responding instead of listening is at least partially about anxiety. But if you can silence that inner voice, it will communicate volumes to the person you’re interacting with.